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the words keep moving

 (continuation of the last post) Lusvega placed a hand on Duma's shoulder, wondering about this fallen man. He was warm. Understanding that he was alive, she turned him onto his back and recognized him as one of her fellow numen. His eyes cracked open and he knew her for who she was as well. Before saying a word, he made to push her away with a wave of his power, but she stayed put, unaffected and seeming to weather it as if it were a mere spring breeze. Realizing the futility of force, he instead tried to push her away with words. He explained that everything around him withered and died, and that soon, she would as well. She might be near death already, he thought belatedly. But she smiled and waved away his concerns, saying that he was harmless and her curiosity far outweighed her desire to live. Hesitantly at first, he allowed her to stick around, eventually realizing that she truly did remain unharmed. The two became companions. Cut off from everyone else, relying solely on ea...
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series of astonishingly small shallots

 24 is a beautiful number. That's about the only thing I miss about 2024 so far. last year was full of slacking off, pining, and actions that were understandable in the moment but horrifying in hindsight. this year will be full of personal development, action, and... well, my predictions have run dry. I'll just let things unfold as they will, as long as there's at least a respectable amount of action and growth.    in terms of my beloved characters/story, I've begun defining what the numen were doing throughout their lives. Let me tell you my fresh-cut, organic, first rendition of Duma x Lusvega. In the beginning, the numen were together. Briefly. They soon dispersed, mostly to sample the pleasures offered by human interaction and relationships. Lusvega, the erudite, found herself fascinated immensely with quite literally everything. Philosophy, the mechanics of the natural world, the way humans mingled with and influenced one another, the flora and fauna that their lus...
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"electric milk heaven" said the sign on the side of the road

  So, uhhh these posts just keep getting further apart, huh? I guess I'll give you an update on life. I've been feeling better lately, although my mind is still a washing machine of thoughts. Much less lonely, thanks to my slowly-improving communication skills and also (and mostly) my new friend. I say "new" as if the friendship hasn't been slowly brewing for several months, but it has been more obvious lately since we actually hang out now. Honestly, I'm actually feeling lots of complicated things about it that I still need to sort out. Anyways, sorry I don't have a drawing to contribute this time; just another poem. My hand shakes My body quakes The world keeps moving. The world keeps moving. The world keeps moving. It's about how even when you're in pain, distressed, anxious, whatever, time won't stop and things will always move forward. Maybe this is good, maybe this is bad. Either way, the world keeps moving, with or without you.
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another poem. sorry.

 "well... today was good, I guess. I got to walk around, the weather was hot + dry, and I did some miscellaneous things, like repeatedly shoving a stick against dirt to clean off some abandoned steps in the woods. I ate food for dinner that makes me feel weird and kind of bad. it was fish and chips from Drake's; their food does generally make me clench my fists."  I wrote that on May 2nd and forgot to post. or finish it. oops. anyways, today isn't May 2nd anymore. it's August 5th. my art hasn't progressed much and I haven't written a poem in months either. I drew some cool maps that I might post soon, but not right now. I'm at my boyfriend's parents' house so none of my drawings are with me.  big changes since May 2nd: I graduated, quit my stupid merrymaids job, started working at home depot, my mind became a washing machine of thoughts, and I love salads now. I might have a new friend and maybe an old one too. I've come up with yet another...
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hah! yeah right!!

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 I was rereading some of my writings earlier. during 2022 and a lot of 2023, I was very unhappy. it was at its worst in 2022, but even in 2023 I would write stuff in my notes app diary that got bad ridiculously quick: "I hope having more time to ourselves helps both of us. Maybe me taking action like this will inspire him to take more initiative or be more active or something. It's cold in my house. I wish I didn't exist..." like what!!! seriously!! still better than me kicking off the first entry (3/12/22) with "... I languished for 4 hours and went to bed. Anyways. I wasted today. It sucked. The end."    can't really say I'm any less dramatic now, but I hide it a little more thoroughly. Maybe my next entry will be about a poem addressing that! but this one... this one is going to be for Teto. the image quality is not really great, but oh well. you can only ask so much of traditional art and 5 year old iphone cameras. that aside, teto is one of the ...
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invisible in the office

yet again, it is friday and I am not feeling great. forgive me if I have nothing interesting to say... the only thing on my mind right now is how anxious and resentful I'm feeling and how much I'd like to vent in some way. hopefully the thai iced tea I'm gonna be drinking tonight fixes me... so, the poem I'll tell you today is... cool snail trail trickle down hot racers slide over the hill, off the cliff each wingbeat of my purple eyelids sending off another wave. dampness gathers around my neck and behind my ears. this one is my favorite, no contest. I wrote it one morning after I woke up in the middle of the night and wept. the meaning is pretty clear. it's about the way the hot tears slowly fall as I lay faceup, leaving behind a cool trail on my cheeks and a growing dampness wherever they land. I don't remember why I cried but perhaps it's for the best. I've been learning lately that preserving my negative emotions, in whatever form, is something I us...
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you make me sick, he says

 I've been trying to blunt my social anxiety by doing things that make me anxious. like (at the park) walking around aimlessly in the open where other people can see me, and leaving stores without buying anything. I want to be stronger someday!! I wasn't like this before... I used to be so much better. less weak, less worrisome. nowadays I have to remind myself that I have every bit as much of a right to exist and use public spaces as anyone else does. it's not always enough, but I hope it will be someday.  today, I guess I'll give you some lore. there are five goddesses, symoblic of the five states of matter. I don't have official names for them, despite the fact that these goddesses were literally the first part of the world that I came up with and the foundation/inspiration for the rest... anyways, they are: nonexistence (named Anti currently), plasma (Energy), gaseous (Air), liquid (Water), and solid (Solid! or Earth.) They each are symbolic of many other relate...
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