you make me sick, he says

 I've been trying to blunt my social anxiety by doing things that make me anxious. like (at the park) walking around aimlessly in the open where other people can see me, and leaving stores without buying anything. I want to be stronger someday!! I wasn't like this before... I used to be so much better. less weak, less worrisome. nowadays I have to remind myself that I have every bit as much of a right to exist and use public spaces as anyone else does. it's not always enough, but I hope it will be someday. 

today, I guess I'll give you some lore.

there are five goddesses, symoblic of the five states of matter. I don't have official names for them, despite the fact that these goddesses were literally the first part of the world that I came up with and the foundation/inspiration for the rest... anyways, they are: nonexistence (named Anti currently), plasma (Energy), gaseous (Air), liquid (Water), and solid (Solid! or Earth.) They each are symbolic of many other related aspects (plasma is life, motivation, chaos, that kind of thing, nonexistence is cold, hunger, death, etc.) a sixth goddess exists. I just call her human because she represents humanity, form (in the sense of a physical body), emotion, and so on. now, human's body is the world, which is a multiverse of 25 universes. each of the 5 goddesses has 5 universes. 

Kiotto, the world that my characters are a part of, is a Water world. obviously, like in our world, they don't all agree on one idea of how the world is, if it was created, who made it, etc. so there is no universally accepted belief in the 5 (6...) goddesses. They instead interpret things as less or more magical. Energy is maximum magic, Anti is absolutely none at all. 

anyways, human is technically the top of the food chain considering she literally is the world. the other goddesses didn't like this and overthrew her. Air didn't mind so much and remained neutral. when human was vanquished (she didn't die obviously forces of nature can't die!!) the other goddesses lost their physical forms and became emotionless ideas of differing states of existence once more, which is the main reason why they aren't known throughout the multiverse. Human did this on purpose because she was pissed off.

  throughout the universe, due to her loss of power, all sentient beings modeled after her (humans and humanoids basically) lost a portion of their emotional capacity. the only way for Human to regain her power is for her to lead a life in each world that succeeds in restoring at least a few people each to their proper emotional depth (sort of like doing hands on work to restore her power before she regains enough to complete the job remotely).


well, there's your wall of text for the day. hope you enjoyed it. there's a lot more where that came from.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another poem. sorry.

 "well... today was good, I guess. I got to walk around, the weather was hot + dry, and I did some miscellaneous things, like repeatedly shoving a stick against dirt to clean off some abandoned steps in the woods. I ate food for dinner that makes me feel weird and kind of bad. it was fish and chips from Drake's; their food does generally make me clench my fists."  I wrote that on May 2nd and forgot to post. or finish it. oops. anyways, today isn't May 2nd anymore. it's August 5th. my art hasn't progressed much and I haven't written a poem in months either. I drew some cool maps that I might post soon, but not right now. I'm at my boyfriend's parents' house so none of my drawings are with me.  big changes since May 2nd: I graduated, quit my stupid merrymaids job, started working at home depot, my mind became a washing machine of thoughts, and I love salads now. I might have a new friend and maybe an old one too. I've come up with yet another...
Read more

the words keep moving

 (continuation of the last post) Lusvega placed a hand on Duma's shoulder, wondering about this fallen man. He was warm. Understanding that he was alive, she turned him onto his back and recognized him as one of her fellow numen. His eyes cracked open and he knew her for who she was as well. Before saying a word, he made to push her away with a wave of his power, but she stayed put, unaffected and seeming to weather it as if it were a mere spring breeze. Realizing the futility of force, he instead tried to push her away with words. He explained that everything around him withered and died, and that soon, she would as well. She might be near death already, he thought belatedly. But she smiled and waved away his concerns, saying that he was harmless and her curiosity far outweighed her desire to live. Hesitantly at first, he allowed her to stick around, eventually realizing that she truly did remain unharmed. The two became companions. Cut off from everyone else, relying solely on ea...
Read more

hah! yeah right!!

Image
 I was rereading some of my writings earlier. during 2022 and a lot of 2023, I was very unhappy. it was at its worst in 2022, but even in 2023 I would write stuff in my notes app diary that got bad ridiculously quick: "I hope having more time to ourselves helps both of us. Maybe me taking action like this will inspire him to take more initiative or be more active or something. It's cold in my house. I wish I didn't exist..." like what!!! seriously!! still better than me kicking off the first entry (3/12/22) with "... I languished for 4 hours and went to bed. Anyways. I wasted today. It sucked. The end."    can't really say I'm any less dramatic now, but I hide it a little more thoroughly. Maybe my next entry will be about a poem addressing that! but this one... this one is going to be for Teto. the image quality is not really great, but oh well. you can only ask so much of traditional art and 5 year old iphone cameras. that aside, teto is one of the ...
Read more