airpod induced headache

 today, I feel pretty lonely. I felt lonely last Friday too. as for why it happens every Friday now... who knows!

my boyfriend's playstation broke last night. our roommate Max's cat got tangled in one of the cords and ended up knocking it off the shelf supported only by the wires. it was funny but not funny at the same time. I'm waiting to decide which one I think it is. well, just kidding- I think it's funny after all, I just don't want to say so because it was frustrating for him (and not to mention expensive) :3 oh well! 

I think that I'll make this blog about my poetry. Todays poem is:

can't you just let me push forward
endlessly faster
godspeed like a beam of light?
shattering
scattering
at the first sign of resistance

it was inspired by a line in a Megadeth song that I've always liked ("speed of light trapped under my [car's] hood"). I absolutely love driving fast. it feels like a thrilling puzzle that sharpens my focus. until someone gets in my way, instantly dispersing the good feelings and turning a pleasant high into an irritable, tense one. if I can safely pass them, my previous enjoyment continues, but if I'm stuck, then I just give up. 
  Another interpretation is that it describes my way of doing things. I push forward hard, as long as it's effortless. once I encounter difficulties, my focus crumbles and my motivation disappears with it. Like a beam of light, continuing forward forever until something blocks my path, at which point I fly off in a million other directions.

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